(05.28.04):
The weekend is here. I mean, not now, but in a matter of hours. And it's a three day weekend at that. I really don't have any major plans. Really I just want to relax, maybe read a bit, and run a whole bunch of miles.

Last night was so damn unsettling and bizarre I won't even attempt to write about it. Let's just say I felt like a clay pigeon being set up to be shot with a twelve gauge shotgun at close range. All those years of stumbling home drunk on a Saturday night and watching get rich quick infomercials at 3AM because, well, that's all that is on at that ungodly hour, finally came in handy. I feel incredibly sorry for anybody who buys into that crap, but I guess people are desperate and gullible. But I'm too wise. I know when I'm a mark. What gets me is I feel like I was deceived, that my trust was violated, and my ethical standards tested (I passed the test). Okay kids, can we say Pyramid Scheme? I'll leave it at that. You can find out more info. here.

Yesterday after work I had an outstanding four mile run. It felt so good and I was really hyper throughout the remainder of the night. Had not the above incident happened yesterday would have been flawless.

Song: Like a Motorway (Saint Etienne - Simply one of the most magnificent and perfect songs ever wriiten in the history of music!!!)

(05.27.04):

This past Saturday I was at the Apple Store purchasing an iPod for my father. While there I asked that my name be added to the wait list for an iPod mini. The clerk told me it would be about a four week wait. On Tuesday I received a message letting me know that my mini iPod was in. After work I picked it up, but wasn't able to use it for a run. Yesterday I got out and ran with it. I'd say it was the first time I ran to music in five years. My only mistake was selecting random play. As I neared the end of my run Xiu Xiu came on and pretty much killed the rest of the run (really just three blocks).

Coming soon I'll have a review up for the new Felix da Houscat album. It's quite fun.

Listening to: Faded Seaside Glamour (Delays - I'm pinning my hopes on this band. I really love this album a lot and the way it makes me feel. One of the best albums in 2004.)

Here's the unused evidence:

[Boston to London's Heathrow]

[London to Bilbao, Spain]

At least I'll get to spend more time with these two:

Now I need to plan my next excursion. Maybe Sweden, or back to Ireland, or London. I do know that I need another trip oversea soon.

Listening to: 2003 iTunes mix.

Tracklist:
1. Late - Donna Regina
2. Pendulum - Broadcast
3. The Lonely - British Sea Power
4. Not Going Anywhere - Keren Ann
5. Little Darlin’ - Benjamin Biolay
6. Blizzard of '77 - Nada Surf
7. The Break Up - The Trouble With Sweeny
8. 0078h - M83
9. Dummy Discards A Heart - Deerhoof
10. Noisy Summer - The Raveonettes
11. On T.V. - Slumber Party
12. Paratrooper - Portastatic
13. Judy - The Pernice Brothers
14. Romulus - Sufjan Stevens
15. The Suburbs Are Killing Us - My Favorite
16. Calculation Theme - Metric
17. Trouble You Cause - Guther
18. Wandering Angus - Jolie Holland
19. We All Die Alone - Clearlake
20. Ready to Die - The Unicorns

(05.23.04):
Last night's show was okay/marginal at best. The sound guy was just awful, and due to the headlining band's slow as fuck drummer taking an obscene amount of time to set up his kit, we were unable to get a sound check. Here are some preshow pictures:

[Jason watching]

[PBR, Mark, Jason, and Mikey]

[Danielle, in back used to play keyboards in Zerostars, and Sarah]

[Self portrait wearing earplugs]

My brother Chris was on hand to video tape the show. I've spent a good part of today capturing the video and editing it down. At some point I'll point something on the site, or maybe I'll have Jason put something on the Zerostars site.

Tomorrow it's back to another week of this:

[My Area of Responsibilty, or just AOR]

Listening to: Absolution (Muse — While talking with my friend Dan before the show he told me to check these guys out, specifically this album. In a way they remind me of Radiohead, but not in that bad Travis or Coldplay ripping off The Bends kind of way. The singer sounds like a younger, less paranoid Thom York, or Jeff Buckley, but the music is pretty tight. Worth the price of two pints of beer. I really like the piano parts a lot. Most bands don't know how to write songs around the piano.)

(05.19.04):
Another jazz legend has died:

Elvin Jones, renowned drummer and member of the John Coltrane Quartet, died Tuesday in a New Jersey hospital of heart failure. He was 76.

Musically Elvin Jones is a huge influence on me. I'm always amazed that one man with only two arms could make such an intense and joyous sound. I'm sure Elvin is sitting behind a kit right now, with Jimmy Garrison on bass and John Coltrane blowing some joyful love supreme.

(05.16.04):
Ran 5.5 miles. Now I'm exhausted. Questioning what happened to yesterday. Been reading David Hirst's The Gun and the Olive Branch, which is about the Palestinian conflict. Quite a heavy, but important read. I'm pretty uninformed about the whole history of that region, as I am sure most Americans are too. Up until now I wasn't aware that Israel had nuclear weapons.

Glancing over an old notebook trying to find some old worn out thought I found this quote from Thomas Merton:

A purely mental life may be destructive if it leads us to substitute thought for life and ideas for action.

Listening to: The Sleep Shelter EP (Rachel Goswell — Rachel is one of the founding members of Slowdive and Mojave 3. Her first solo album will be released on June 21st. From the sound of this EP this will be much better than the last Mojave 3 album, Spoon and Rafter. Outstanding EP.)

Song: Will You Find Me? (American Music Club — Doing some legit paying work and this song comes on and I keep hitting repeat because, well, I feel like I need to be recklessly destroyed only to be found again. "All I want out of life is to hide somewhere."

(05.15.04):

[please support zerostars]

[Chicago from my car window 5.14.04]

	Yesterday I took a half day and went into Chicago to pick up my custom fitting earplugs, look for a new apartment, go guitar/bass shopping with Mikey Shin (neither of us bought anything), record buying at Reckless and Tower, and then an art show and drinks plus dinner with Sara. These photos were taken while driving around on my way to pick Sara up from work. At one point I looked over and saw this guy doing pushups, so I grabbed my camera and took these action shots. Sara and I went to Iggy's, which is moving soon to North Ave., and drank those drinks that masquerade as martinis. I ended up with quite a solid buzz. I did find a reissue 1962 Fender Jazz bass that I loved the sound of, but I wasn't sold on the color, but I might be tempted to grab it.

At Tower I found:
Absent Friends - The Divine Comedy (Worth it for the first track alone.)
Faded Seaside Glamour - The Delays (I snagged an import copy with a bonus dvd. Not expensive for an import. Fucking brilliant!!!! Buy a copy this Tuesday when it's released in the States. Like Cocteau Twins meets James. Doesn't have a chance in the states, but still...)
Beelzeebubba - Dead Milkmen (I've been trying to track down a copy. Still as good now as when it was released in 1988. If this came out today all the kids would eat this up. Sad that they'll never get their due respect.)

Tomorrow please be warm.

(05.11.04):
I'm moving to Sweden.

(05.10.04):
Cut and paste. Repeat. Cut and paste. Repeat. For eight hours.

Last night I started work on a new short story called A Notebook For Leaving. It's about nothing in particular, no one specific incident or history.

Since we're almost six months into 2004 I thought I'd have another go at some sort of contest. If you tell me your top five albums or singles so far for 2004 I'll send you a free mix cd. Get all the details here.

Listening to: Rain.

(05.09.04):
Yesterday I started on a photo project called "history." After a five mile run I spent much of the afternoon scanning in family photos. You can see the beginning here.

The other day I was having a discussion with a co-worker on how I don't exist on film, as in video. My parents never owned a Super 8 or any type of video camera, so the only documentation I have of my early existence is these photos. Yet really this is only half of my existence since it only encompasses my father's parents. I've said it before, and I'll say it again, I really miss them a lot. There are times when I'd give anything tp talk with my Grandma Esther.

Album: Circles (The Autumn Defense — Great Sunday morning album. Read my review.)

The idea of a light bulb versus the idea of a ladder.
Your idea is wrong.
I am the evolution.
I am my own blender.
My roller coaster days are numbered.
We all have our own version of the wars we fight daily. I promise to tell you mine if you promise to tell me yours. Together we'll form our own historical moments.
Bring back the guillotine.

New album review for Múm's latest album Summer Make Good posted under Reviews.

Album: Tres Cosas (Juana Molina - Third album from Ms. Molina. Even better than last year's Segundo, which was stunning. Review forthcoming.

(05.04.04):

[Not sure if I could have expressed the arrival of Spring any better]

Yesterday, after weeks of anticipation, my very own copy of Richard Brautigan's finest book of poetry, Loading Mercury With a Pitchfork, arrived in the mail.

[Genius]

In high school my friend stumbled upon Brautigan while searching through the stacks of the school library. We passed this book around our small group of misfit friends, each of us getting it for a period or two. Sadly, this book has been out of print forever, so I located a used copy in pretty good condition. A first edition hardcover would have been nice, but those are rare and often fetch upwards of $600 a copy. Brautigan was on the tail end of the Beat Generation and his poetry and fiction uses some of the most simple and succinct language in the most bizarre and beautiful fashion. I remember reading the poem Lighthouse for the first time and instantly being won over.

Lighthouse
Signaling, we touch
Lying beside each other
like waves.
I roll over into her
and look down through
candlelight to say,
"Hey, I'm balling you."

Album: Reality (David Bowie — Another one of last year's neglected and way overlooked treasures. Unlike artists like Sting, Bowie is still relevant.)

(05.02.04):
Hangover stars. Before we went on stage at 12:30AM I drank only three Absolute and tonics, and a few glasses of water. Then as we started our set I cracked open a can of PBR thinking that would keep me awake and alive through the set. I don't mind PBR, but last night it was poison. I only drank 3/4 of the can, and near the end of the set my head started to hurt. Then, as I'm driving home on the Kennedy I start getting an even worse pain in my head. Once home I drink a lot of water and crash into slumber. I awake seven hours later wishing it was night so that I can fall back to sleep again. I sound like a lightweight.

But I'm alive, so I put on the new Sam Phillips album, eat some breakfast, and drink lots of coffee.

I think we all played pretty well at the show. Although I thought my bass sounded like crap. It was like the sound guy applied a thick coating of foggy black sludge to the room's atmosphere. I guess we were well received. Next show is May 22nd at Subterranean on North Ave. in Chicago. Seems like lately it's been Zerostars all the time. Hopefully we'll take the week off from music. I often wonder if we could tour together. Probably, but we'd need to get Corbett a separate bus or van because I'd be tempted to kill him in his sleep. Sorry Corbett, just being honest. See pics of our show on the Zerostars website.

From The Used Future, a collection of poetry, by F.A. Nettlebeck:

A Suicidal Ointment
owning nothing
but the man's voice
after you ask the
time.

In an email from Kim she mentioned Nettlebeck in passing. I think he was a friend of Bukowski, but I could be wrong. His poetry can be pretty gritty, but really beautiful too:

From A Greyhound
I'm writing your
hands into this
poem capturing

them between lines
like birds caught
inside the houses

we used to live in
I'm holding onto
them forever

its your innocence
that creates this
desperation & my

love means nothing

[Me, one week ago, at B Side Audio]

This morning I've been reading Frank O'Connor's short story collection My Oedipus Complex and Other Stories. When in Ireland I went to the Irish Writers Museum and picked up this book. I wish I'd found O'Connor years ago. Yeats called O'Connor the Irish equivalent to Chekhov. I didn't really appreciate the short story until I started taking the train to work. There's something satisfying in reading a story in twenty-two minutes. Maybe that's why people like those television sitcoms that are all the rage these days.

From a short story titled The Duke's Children:

Illumination came only when I had escaped.

The escaping being done in the imagination, or in a fantasy. Or often in my case both imagination and literature. Is it escapism? My own rhetorical question. There's such a horrendous stigma attached to the escapist mentality. I'll agree that escapism can be harmful, but it's not as evil as say American imperialism or rampant unchecked consumerism.

Song: Via Chicago (Wilco)
Album: A Boot and a Shoe (Sam Phillips — There's such a powerful intimacy to her voice, this intense sense of real sexual longing rarely found in pop music these days. I'd love to hear her and Tom Waits do a duet.)