11.28.04:
Second update of the day... Watch Search My Pockets from thr 11.27.04 Beat Kitchen show (Quicktime Required).

11.28.04:
Time confounds me...

[Let's move to Ireland]

I have a hangover. Thanks to all my friends who came out to the Zerostars show last night. And big thanks to Daniel Knox for kicking off the night by playing some of the most original tin pan alley inspired odes I've ever heard. If you weren't at the show, or missed Daniel's brief thirty minute set, check out his website.

Between trying to knock out this headache and doing the dishes I've been thinking a lot about the importance of personal history, more importantly personal history as narrative. The friendships and relationships that have weathered the best over the years are those that contain memories of the springtime of friendship. Feeling slightly nostalgic, remembering the day we started singing, "I'm in love with myself and nobody else," by the Wonderstuff as we walked down some suburban street. Or driving in the car and hearing The Smiths for the first time. Or when you jumped out of your car one day and ran to mine with a tape of I'll Be Your Chauffeur by David J all cued up for me to hear. Memories that I can call up at any instant. Yet they're more than just memories, they're historical defining moments for me being me. But I'm wondering if, for the most part, the narratives are over. I know they're not, but I have these moments of historical self doubt. I'm really not trying to be complex. But I think I am being slightly obtuse in the point that I'm trying to get across. Across the universe. Maybe that's why I'm thinking time confounds me. It's just that I want history based on pure memories, of me looking down one minute to see that my shoelace is untied, and then to look up and see you. And that's not a specific you, like an old friend. Just a you, whoever you are. Or is this all nonsense? Misplaced nostalgia? Like ice. Every one hundred years. Historical solitude. Yeah, there's more to all of this than this.

Listening to: S/T - Julie Doiron and the Wooden Stars

11.26.04:
Thanksgiving was tops. Best turkey EVER! And for dessert I made ice cream, two flavors, vanilla and cinnamon brown sugar, using my new high tech ice cream maker, pictured below.

The ice cream, my first time in forever, was outstanding. The maker is a bit noisy, but the noise is worth the wait for the ic cream.

[Oh really?]

Today, November 26th, the day after Thanksgiving, is Buy Nothing Day. Avoid the sales at Kohls and Target and think, for just a day, about the true meaning of Christmas and the upcoming holiday season.

Yesterday I managed to get out for the first snow run of the year. Perfect. The world was still asleep, and the sun had not started to warm up the snow on the tree branches, as I ran down the snow covered tree lined streets listening to Sufjan Stevens I was smiling.

Album title: Wire Post to Wire Artist: The Standard Rating: 7.0 out of 10 Quick review: Elephants, unicorns, chemicals, a dash of prog art rock, and some occasional twinkling pianos, need I write any more? Really, the only thing that drags this album down is singer Tim Putman's warbly slightly paranoid voice.

How shall I help myself? By withdrawing into the garret, and associating with spiders and mice, determining to meet myself face to face sooner or later. Completely silent and attentive I will be this hour, and the next, and forever. The most positive life that history notices has been a constant retiring out of life, of wiping one's hands of it, seeing how mean it is, and having nothing to do with it.

-- H.D Thoreau

Tomorrow, 10PM, Zerostars at The Beat Kitchen. Be there.

11.23.04:
I had this moment yesterday where the only place I wanted to be was at a record shop in Champaign-Urbana. While attending the University of Illinois I used to frequent three record stores: Record Service, Record Swap, and Periscope. Occasionally I would visit Green Street Records, but I rarely bought anything from them as they catered to a slightly expensive vinyl crowd. Plus, I never felt cool enough to shop there. However, I do remember Kim picking up a huge stack of Frank Sinatra albums there. Sadly, Record Service and Periscope are no longer around, which is a total shame. Record Swap moved to Urbana and they no longer carry new albums, only used. My point is that I'm wondering if the record store is a thing of the past. Okay, I know there are quite a few record store in the Chicago area, but they aren't as friendly as Periscope or Swap. I used to love going upstairs to Swap every Tuesday after class and checking out the latest releases. There was a comfort in there, as well as in Periscope. I remember my last time in Periscope. I had just finished my career as an undergraduate, so to celebrate I went and had a few pints at some bar that I can't seem to recall the name of, and then I wandered over to Periscope and spent two or three hours talking to one of the owners about The Kinks and music in general. I walked out with an armful of promos. God I miss those days.

Before practice last night I managed to run 3.5 miles. I've been unmotivated with my running, so I'm trying to get my ass back into it. Kinda tough not having any goals, like a race to train for. Not that I need a goal to keep me motivated, but where do you go after running a marathon?

This is hilarious. A coworker called me over to her cube to show me the opening image on cnn.com:

A closer view...

I've never seen a snowman with breasts. At least I think those are breasts. Funny how they've already removed the above image and replaced it with this...

What I find even more hilarious is that the photo used is from a stock photography collection, and not an AP photo.

11.21.04:
This documenting, has anything come of this whispering about my day-to-day activities? I'd open the shades if there was even the slightest ray of sunlight. That's not some metaphor. I really would like to see the sun.

A friend called the other day. She told me she had a minor breakdown over the word acorn. However the word acorn was just the impetuousness for her feeling the way she did. We all have our trigger points.

We all have something that keeps us alive. Today it's sitting still. Tomorrow it's always tomorrow. This perfect cup of black coffee (I've started drinking my coffee black again, at least when I brew it in the morning. I used to only drink black coffee, but whenI took a job I started adding milk so that I could cool it off).

Today it's the grocery store.

Today is my Grandma's birthday. She turns 90.

Listening to: S/T - Asobi Seksu and Life Is Full of Possibilities - Dntel (The Asobi Seksu album doesn't start to reveal itself until around the fourth listen. Reminds me loosely of the 4AD/shoegazer days of rock. And the Dntel album is just excellent and it will always be better than the Postal Service.)

11.19.04:

[On Becoming a Snowstorm]

Thinking a snowstorm would be nice. Trying to recall last night and where it disappeared to. Earlier I was taking photos of plastic forks, which is an exercise in boredom.

11.18.04:
The weekend is a day away.

Favorite things today (because I have nothing important to write about, but...)

	Peanut Butter Filled Pretzels These are really good, and by good I mean excellent and highly addictive, plus, they are slightly heathy. Possibly the greatest pretzel product ever! I discovered them one night at the Tuscan Market in downtown Arlington Heights. Whole Foods carries them as well.
	Asphalt Nation by Jane Holtz Kay I've had this book for what seems forever, but I've never gotten around to really reading it. Asphalt Nation is a major work of urban studies that examines how the automobile has ravaged America's cities and landscape, and how we can fight back. Makes me want to stop driving. Bad wicked car filled world.
	Tripper - Efterklang Perfect music for the string of grey days that we've been experiencing. Sad, cinematic, string ladden computer manipulated pop music from Copenhagen. Not as icy as Mum. I'm really digging this.
	The Wilco Book - V/A This arrived in the mail yesterday. Excellent photography of the band and their environment. There are a few essays and interviews as well. The bonus is the 13 track CD that accompanies the book. Hummingbird (Soma Version) is spectacular, others might disagree with me on that one.

[The Chaos That Is Mine]

I know, you're wondering how I can manage with such a confused desktop. The answer, well, that's how I operate at work. My Powerbook and iMac desktops are the opposite of the PC environment that I am forced to work in each and every day. Usually when it gets that full I move everything over to a folder and hope that nothing gets lost. But things always seem to get lost or misplaced in this chaotic world of electronic documentation.

11.17.04:
Yeah, so I forgot to add that the Pixies show was excellent. I was so filled with joy when Kim Deal started to sing Heaven, and Caribu sent chills down my back. All-in-all a very glorious experience. There's no way in hell The Pixies could have pulled this off had they waited another ten years. But the events before the show were just bizarre. So bizarre I feel that if I write or even think about them any more I'll further curse myself. There's an excellent interview with Frank Black Francis on Salon.com which is well worth reading.

Today I'm wishing I was 23. I love being 30, I really do, but 23 would be nice.

Listening to: a whole hodge podge of great stuff, aren't I always? In my car is some Leonard Cohen, Death Cab for Cutie, and The Delgados. Strange, or maybe not, but The Delgados are becoming one of my favorite bands.

11.16.04:
Ever since the Pixies show on Sunday night things have been totally bizarre. First last night's dream. I haven't really been remembering my dreams lately, so it's about time I woke being able to recollect one of the movies that played in my head while I slept. Although, maybe this was a nightmare. In my dream I'm walking down the street that I usually run and at some point I look up and see an airplane that appears to be having trouble. Eventually the plane goes into a dive and crashes on the road. As the plane crashes into the ground I start running in the opposite direction. I stop for a moment and see that the fuselage, which is in flames, is heading right toward me. I start running and luckily the fuselage bounces over me and I survive. As I try to figure out what the hell is happening I notice a woman standing in front of her house in tears, and she's dressed all 1960's style flight attendant. I walk up to her and the only thing I can do is give her a hug. All around us are flames and debris. Totally bizarre.

11.14.04:
Tonight it's The Pixies. I missed my chance to see them open up for U2 years ago, so I'm looking forward to finally seeing them as a collective unit tonight. I've seen all of them at some point, just not as The Pixies. Full report tomorrow.

Last night I made the most delicious frittata in the world. Seriously, it was like eating candy. I felt like Bob, from What About Bob, when he's sitting at the Marvin's dinner table eating the fried chicken and raving to Mrs. Leo Marvin about how incredible it was.

I also finished Paradise Reclaimed. I enjoy Laxness because there's a slowness to his writing, very little action. Paradise Reclaimed is a strange tale, one worth reading.

Listening to: Cake - Trash Can Sinatras (Although, I ended up spending the majority of yesterday listening to jazz, a little Sonny Rollins, Grant Green, and Isotope 217. Rollins' East Broadway Run Down was the perfect accompaniment to eating my frittata and drinking some wine.

11.13.04:
Piece of a conversation I overheard earlier today as I sat waiting for my car to be repaired:

"Lately at night, when I come home from work, I'm finding it hard to unwind because I'm so pumped up about selling cars."

God, is it me or is that the most depressing quote in the world. I couldn't make dialogue like that up. I'm the opposite. When I come home I'm so overwhelmed with a sense of ennui that I just want to curl up on the couch and listen to the Bill Evans Trio. Maybe it's not ennui that I suffer from. Oh dramatic world.

Listening to: Tiger Teeth EP - Call and Response

11.11.04:

Zapatos nuevos para me! Yesterday as I was tying my shoes I noticed a number of holes developing, so last night I went out to buy a new pair. After unsuccessfully trying on at least fifteen different pairs I ended up buying a pair of Gordon Rush black oxfords. Now, I know that's not cool, buying shoes that is, but what's really cool, and I

Listening to: Nothing's Lost - Styrofoam (Surprisingly good and consistent album. The last Styrofoam album was okay, nothing great. The latest fetaures a number of guest vocalists that include Valerie Trebeljahr of Lali Puna, Benjamin Gibbard of Death Cab For Cutie/Postal Service, and Markus Acher of The Notwist/Lali Puna. I

11.10.04:

Usually I don't waste my time or money on "greatest hit" packages. For the most part they're lame, and on a more insidious level they are merely a way for an artist to meet a contractual obligation, and rarely have the listener in mind. With that in mind I still succumbed to the urge to purchase the latest Saint Etienne career overview. And guess what? It's excellent! Featuring 18 songs hand picked by Saint Etienne, two of which are unreleased, Travel Edition is the perfect way for the uninitiated

11.09.04:
Last night's rehearsal was canceled at the last minute, so, as I drove home I tried to figure out some sort of plan for the rest of the night, as in something other than turning on the television. I wasn't in much of a reading mood either. So I played around with Logic and recorded a terrible version of Las Vegas. It's not good, especially since I drenched everything in a reverb and distortion sludge. Then again, maybe it's perfect for my strange mood. Listen to it here.

Listening to: Some random Astrud Gilberto album, and the new Neko Case album, The Tigers Have Spoken, which is excellent.

11.08.04:

Self Portrait

This is what happens when I spend too much time with computers...

This depresses the hell out of me... (then again a lot seems to depress the hell out of me lately). Last week I was talking with a coworker about The Clock of the Long Now. Funny how everybody is wrapped up in the next four years, but what are four years? Time is better experienced slowly. It's all of our responsibility to start thinking past our generation, and even further than our generation's generation. I'm reminded of the Neo-Luddite period of my life, and I wonder if I should revisit those days. This is how my mind operates (all cliché and all I guess):

The Second Coming -- W. B. Yeats

Turning and turning in the widening gyre
The falcon cannot hear the falconer;
Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold;
Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world,
The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere
The ceremony of innocence is drowned;
The best lack all convictions, while the worst
Are full of passionate intensity.

Surely some revelation is at hand;
Surely the Second Coming is at hand.
The Second Coming! Hardly are those words out
When a vast image out of Spiritus Mundi
Troubles my sight: somewhere in sands of the desert
A shape with lion body and the head of a man,
A gaze blank and pitiless as the sun,
Is moving its slow thighs, while all about it
Reel shadows of the indignant desert birds.
The darkness drops again; but now I know
That twenty centuries of stony sleep
Were vexed to nightmare by a rocking cradle,
And what rough beast, its hour come round at last,
Slouches towards Bethlehem to be born?

I'm not trying to get all political, I'm sure somebody will tell me that this is a joke, all The Smiths stuff aside... But I wouldn't mind having Keats and Yeats on my side, if only for a bit. I guess I was thinking about the whole "things fall apart" line, but not because of the whole election nonsense. There's always more to it than that, something cryptic I suppose. Ask and I'll possibly tell you. Or probably not, just depends on who asks and if I'm in a telling mood.

Listening to -- A Lifetime of Temporary Relief: 10 Years of B-Sides and Rarities - Low (This was released months ago, and I finally tracked it down on Saturday. Sure I could have ordered it on-line, but I didn't. Disc 3 is primarily covers. Low's version of Open Arms, the Journey classic, is sure to piss off a lot of Journey fanatics. On an unrelated note, but then again maybe not, as I stumbled home on Saturday night/Sunday morning I passed by the local tap and the band was playing Billy Joel's Piano Man and my thought was, "Why don't people ever get sick of that song?" That song has entered cliché status. I've never liked Billy Joel, never loved Elvis, although I've always enjoyed The Wonderstuff.)

11.07.04:

Sometimes my camera doesn't work. This is what Michigan Ave. looks like as a stream of digital nonsense:

Robyn Hitchcock performing at the Virgin Megastore on Michigan Ave. in Chicago.

Yesterday afternoon Robyn Hithchcock, one of my all time favorite musicians, and one of the few musicians that I've listened to consistently for the past 15 years, was in Chicago. First, he performed at a brief in-store at the Virgin Megastore. The first time I ever saw Robyn was when he opened for REM at the Rosemont Horizon back during the Green tour in support of Queen Elvis. Yesterday we managed to arrive at Virgin just as Robyn was wrapping up his brief, only three song, set . I was able to snap a few photos. Afterwards Robyn signed my ticket stub for his upcoming nights show at Schubas. After the in-store Jason, Kelly, and I pondered our next moves by standing on Michigan Ave. and taking photos of each other taking photos. From there we wandered over to Houstons and drank some cocktails gratis.

People take pictures of each other... Jason and Kelly standing out on Michigan Ave. Jason getting ready to drink that double vodka cranberry.

After Houstons Jason and I went over to Schubas to see Mr. Hitchcock perform a full set of brilliant music. But before we did we went for a bite to eat at the Harmony Grill and almost sitting next to us was Robyn Hitchcock. Very cool. He gave Jason and I little buttons. All in all it was a super fun day and evening.

I'm sure I could write more about the days events, but I won't.

Listening to: Yo La Tengo.

11.05.04:
Will be listening to: British Sea Power

This morning, in the car, it was Sondre Lerche, but right at this moment, I'd kill to slip on a set of headphones and listen to some British Sea Power.

11.04.04:
My co-worker gave me a zydeco/cajun party cd to listen to and it's totally cracking me up. But really I'm not in much of a cajun party mood.

Listening to: White Christmas Live - Mark Kozelek (Had not it been for that cajun cd I would have listened to nothing but songs written or sung by Mark Kozelek.)

PS - Fuck Kenton Management of Oak Park Illinois aka my landlords. I'm off to go and buy a space heater.

9:20PM -- Watching a Goldfrapp DVD. I'm kicking myself for not seeing her at Park West. Allison Goldfrapp is gorgeous.

11.03.04:

Another night spent without the simple luxury of heat. Now, if I was out camping and sleeping under the stars I would welcome the cool air across my face, but when I pay a decent amount of money for an apartment I expect heat, and if there is no heat I expect to wake under a starry sky. Turns out the boiler is broken and another is on order, but it won't arrive until sometime next week. Since that was the case I purchased a down comforter and it worked well.

Installed Logic Express 7 on my Powerbook last night, and hopefully I'll get to spend some time with it tonight or tomorrow. I'm hoping to learn it pretty quick as the band plans on recording within the next few weeks.

For the past few weeks I've had this strange problem where I wake up every morning at 3AM. I encountered this briefly while training for the marathon, but attributed it to possible overtraining and diet. But it's back again, and it's not fun. So I told my friend Kelly about it and this is what she had to say, "...and, have you seen Amityville Horror? he wakes up every night at 3:15 (because 3:15 was when the guy who lived in the house before him, killed his entire family. Maybe you have a ghost in your house who did something bad at 3:00 AM." God I hope not, but that could be the case. I really don't believe in ghosts, but I do believe in outer space and time travel...

Listening to: Quiet City - Pan American (I'm really sleepy today, and these guys make me even sleepier.)

11.02.04:

From The Right to Remain Silent by Kara Hopkins:

By declining to be coerced we may yet salvage a scrap of liberty. We won’t be letting democracy down, for it has already disappointed us. Pace President Bush and his “forward strategy of freedom,” liberty was never government’s to give; the essential right to be left alone belongs to each citizen. This November, we can borrow a bit back by refusing to be counted by parties that don’t represent us. Silence is a profound expression, and enough unraised voices eventually turn even the most partisan heads.

And so I'll end up disappointing a lot of friends, but neither candidate represents me. This election year my choice is to remain silent. I won't be rockin the vote. Silence is just as justified as the sound made when casting a vote. My choice of silence hasn't been easy, but it's my choice and one that I am most comfortable in making.

From The Tao Te Ching

TAKING NO ACTION
The external world is fragile,
and he who meddles with its natural way,
risks causing damage to himself.
He who tries to grasp it,
thereby loses it.
It is natural for things to change,
sometimes being ahead, sometimes behind.
There are times when even breathing
may be difficult,
whereas its natural state is easy.
Sometimes one is strong,
and sometimes weak,
sometimes healthy,
and sometimes sick,
sometimes is first,
and at other times behind.
The sage does not try
to change the world by force,
for he knows that force results in force.
He avoids extremes and excesses,
and does not become complacent.

A CAVEAT AGAINST VIOLENCE
When leading by the way of the Tao,
abominate the use of force,
for it causes resistance, and loss of strength,
showing the Tao has not been followed well.
Achieve results but not through violence,
for it is against the natural way,
and damages both others' and one's own true self.
The harvest is destroyed in the wake of a great war,
and weeds grow in the fields in the wake of the army.
The wise leader achieves results,
but does not glory in them;
is not proud of his victories,
and does not boast of them.
He knows that boasting is not the natural way,
and that he who goes against that way,
will fail in his endeavours.


MAINTAINING PEACE
Weapons of war are instruments of fear,
and are abhorred by those who follow the Tao.
The leader who follows the natural way
does not abide them.
The warrior king leans to his right,
from whence there comes his generals' advice,
but the peaceful king looks to his left,
where sits his counsellor of peace.
When he looks to his left, it is a time of peace,
and when to the right, a time for sorrow.
Weapons of war are instruments of fear,
and are not favoured by the wise,
who use them only when there is no choice,
for peace and stillness are dear to their hearts,
and victory causes them no rejoicing.
To rejoice in victory is to delight in killing;
to delight in killing is to have no self-being.
The conduct of war is that of a funeral;
when people are killed, it is a time of mourning.
This is why even victorious battle
should be observed without rejoicing.

Listening to: Erik Satie - Gnossiennes - Gymnopedies (Performed by Reinbert De Leeuw. Today I'd much prefer to be alone, in my own solitude, but right now, the closest I can get to that much needed solitude is by listening to Erik Satie. Last nights sleep wasn't good, and listening to Radiohead as I drove to work didn't help. But I wasn't going to listen to NPR, and tonight I'm refusing to watch any televison. Instead I will be an escapist. I'll make the world I want to live in.)

11.01.04:

As I began my daily commute to work this morning The Shins issued forth the only lyrics that could possibly describe today (from Young Pilgrims):

A cold and wet November dawn
And there are no barking sparrows
Just emptiness to dwell upon

But for the most part I do feel better today. Maybe I've been a bit down, suffering from PMS (Post-marathon syndrome). So I threw on my running shoes, dusted off my mini iPod, strapped it to my arm, and ran. Within minutes a smile had surfaced across my face and I felt me again, alive, and whole. When I don't run I'm not me. Most non-runners don't get long distance runners. I know, that's probably some sort of generalization, but there is some truth to it. While training for my marathon I was often given strange looks by non-runners when I would describe to them my training plan. I would tell them of my belief that a 13 mile run is the most perfect running distance. Although, maybe once I get a few more marathons behind me I'll start to think that 26.2 miles is the most perfect running distance. But I'm looking forward to a nice 13 mile run, and hopefully I'll be able to get one in before the first snowfall of the year. And even then I'm looking forward to my long winter runs, when there's a fresh coat of snow on the trees and the world around me glistens and shines. I'm longing for the empty trail, the morning after a snow. Or even for a snow run, when the only sounds you hear are the falling snow, and your breath. Running is slower in the winter, not because I run slower, but because I become more aware of the landscape around me. Then there's the solitude of my winter runs, while running for me always takes on some aspect of the spiritual, my winter runs become more spiritually intense.

And then I glance up to the magnet of my cabinet, and see Sunday, October 9, 2005. It doesn't feel far away. Nothing is ever far away.

Tomorrow we all get to vote, so, I've been doing some last minute research on just who I might decide to vote for. Here are a few of the lesser known candidates (info available via VoteSmart.org):

Mr. Jackson Kirk Grimes Current Office: Challenger Office Seeking: President Party: United Fascist Union Hobbies or Special Talents: Piano and violin playing, pressing wild flowers. Astrological Sign: Virgo

Mr. HRM Caesar St Augustine De Buonaparte Emperor Current Office: Challenger Office Seeking: President Party: The Good Party Gender: Male Family: Single. Birthdate: 06/06/1960 Birthplace: Avalon, CA Home City: Malibu, CA

The apex of Mr. Jackson Kirk Grimes' career was in 1998 when he addressed the Flying Saucer Society of Dover, De.

From his speech:
A few years ago, for a nationally known Fascist leader like myself to address a U.F.O. club would have been unheard of... (Read the complete speech -- Although, I read the majority of it and I wouldn't recommend spending too much time with it as it's pure drivel, yet at times pretty damn funny.)

Here's a bit about Mr. HRM Caesar St. Augustine De Buonaparte.

So get out and vote.

Song: Sailing Man - Neil Halstead (Yeah, I know I quoted The Shins above and you'd think that might be the song of the day, but it was either Sailing Man or Pink Moon, and Sailing Man won out. But I wouldn't mind sitting in some quiet place, with a set of headphones on, listening the Pink Moon (entire album)on repeat for hours and hours.